“Reema, you need to stand for yourself. You need to speak up and tell Rohit that it is unacceptable. His parents can’t say such rude things to you. If they can’t respect you, then you can’t stay with them. We raised you as a strong and independent woman, don’t let them break you. You are strong. Unlike many women, you are working and you can take care of yourself even without Rohit’s support. Just because you are a woman, that doesn’t mean your in-laws can treat you badly!”, my mother-in-law comforted my sister-in-law as she was being harassed by her in-laws.
While I felt sorry for my sister-in-law as she never deserved to be treated so horribly, I wonder how my mother-in-law pushed her daughter to be an independent woman, while she herself hardly respects one.
I have been humiliated for standing for myself; I have been shamed for answering back when mean things were said to me; My parents have been blamed for raising me as an unsanskari brat, who refuses to respect her abusive in-laws.
I really admire my mother-in-law for being a strong woman and raising a strong daughter as well. But, what I don’t admire is the fact that how she shames me for being a strong and independent woman.
My mother-in-law’s ill-treatment made me wonder why so many women are so insecure of a strong and independent woman. Even though they themselves are strong and independent; they couldn’t stand a woman who refuse to bow down to the abuse. Even though they want their daughters to be strong and independent; they can’t respect someone else’s daughter for being the same! (Also Read: 8 Signs Of An Insecure Woman)
I tried really hard to make my mother-in-law understand that I am not her enemy; neither I am in any sort of competition with her. I just want her to treat me with respect as I treat her with respect too! We keep hearing people saying – Respect is a two-way street! You get it, when you give it! But, when it comes to daughter-in-law, respecting elders becomes a mandatory responsibility. Doesn’t matter how abusive her in-laws are; Doesn’t matter how badly is she treated – We still expect her to respect her in-laws because after all, they are her husband’s parents! (Also Read: Stop Telling Daughters-In-Law To Respect Elders; May Be It’s Time For Elders Learn How To Seek Respect)
India has a massive cultural problem with how badly we treat women, especially the wives and daughters-in-law in our country. While we want to raise independent daughters, we don’t want to respect them! While we want to raise independent daughters, we forget to raise men who can respect them!
Everyone wants to marry a strong and independent woman but then expects her to suffer the abuse in silence.
But, the condition won’t change till the women themselves don’t learn how to respect each other. While men support each other, women leave no chance to shatter each other. Till the time, we don’t learn how to respect each other; stand for each other; we don’t have any right to complain that society doesn’t treat us or our daughters well. So, dear mother-in-law, while you raise your daughter to be strong, respect your strong daughters-in-law too! So, dear women, please start respecting other strong women before it’s too late!