Love as a philosophy or an emotion enjoys scattered opinions. While many believe that two incomplete individuals make a complete whole when in love, others reject this view as absurd. The reason is that an emotionally damaged or incomplete individual is not capable of giving love. So two damaged parts can only eat each other up, not nourish one another. While both views hold water, the latter is more talked about today.
Emotionally Damaged? – Be Self Aware
Even modern-day books and movies do not describe relationships as a bed of roses. People are more interested in knowing about the complexities and challenges of love and relationships. Contrary to old times, modern-day talk around relationships uses a lexicon full of phrases like emotionally damaged, self-awareness, the right time, etc. Despite how grim all these sound, they ring a bell of positivity. Before jumping into a relationship and calling it love, many people want to be self-aware. They want to make sure what they want is love and not a rebound.
Are You Emotionally Damaged?
While this quest can be tricky, we have some telltale signs to help you know if you are emotionally damaged and not ready to love.
Signs Of Being Emotionally Damaged
1. People In Love Or Anything Lovey-Dovey Upsets You
To appreciate love, one must feel complete from within. If you are hurt, your perception of the idea of love is negatively impacted. Anything romantic triggers your fractured heart and resentment starts welling inside you.
2. You Lack Integrity In Love: You Do Not Give What You Expect
As they say, expectations are the root of all troubles in relationships. Do not think you should not even expect your partner to be loyal, responsible, and responsive. The expectations that kill a relationship arise from a desperate need for self-fulfillment, not mutual happiness. And when you seek something from your partner only to fill up a space in your life that perhaps you are unable to do for yourself, expectations become toxic.
3. You Cannot Handle Being Friend Zoned
The term ‘friend-zoned’ is problematic. It reeks of a presumption that once someone becomes your friend, you must be their obvious choice for dating. If they don’t, Bam! You have been ‘friend-zoned.’ What adds insult to injury is if they choose another person to date over you. In case you have trouble accepting that liking or attraction need not always be reciprocal, consider it a red flag.
4. Other’s Perception Of Your Love Choices Matters More
We all have an innate desire to be liked by others. But, if this desire crosses limits and becomes a constant need for social approval, it is harmful. When you are emotionally damaged, you hardly trust your instincts. Besides, people’s perception of your love life starts weighing more than your feelings and desires. In such a scenario, there are high chances that you will make the wrong choices and become a toxic people-pleaser.
5. You Have Abused Your Partner: Verbally, Physically, Mentally, Or In Any Way
Temperamental issues that result in abuse are never healthy for a relationship. If you have abused your partners in the past, you must not commit to a love relationship. You must consider taking therapy or sincerely introspect to fix this alarming sign of being emotionally damaged.
6. You Don’t Accommodate The Individuality Of Your Partner In Your Life
This one is a classic sign of emotional ineptitude. You don’t respect and accept the entity of your partner. You are unable to give them enough space. Somewhere related to the toxic expectations point, this sign shows that you only wish to see a mirror image of yourself in your partner and nothing else.
7. People Have Frequently Raised Alarm At Your Behavior In Your Relationship
This might sound contradictory to the previously mentioned point on others’ perception of you and how you must ignore it. But, this sign says something different. It’s about the ‘general perception’ of your behavior in a relationship. If your exes, family, friends, or anyone, have frequently shown concern at the problematic parts of your attitude in a relationship, it might be true. Also, if you are honest with yourself and assess that some of your closest and most trusted friends share such an opinion, you must take it seriously and seek help.
8. You Are Emotionally Damaged If You Hardly Listen To Your Good Sense
Family and friends come much before love does in our lives. But, this does not hand over to them, the baton of your relationships. While you must pay heed to some genuine concerns your family shows toward your relationship or partner, not everything they say has to be set in stone. For instance, if your parents can see signs of toxicity, irresponsibility, and rashness in your partner that you are too blind to see in love, it’s great. On the other hand, if they doubt everyone you date, hold you back from exploring your choices, and making independent decisions, you must disallow it. By letting it continue, you are making headway for emotional issues.
9. You Vent Your Frustration About X on Y
This does not just happen in love, so you probably know how frequently we do it. Just like when you get cranky after a long day at work and throw all sorts of mood swings at your friends and family, you hurt others when you are hurt. An emotionally damaged individual is unable to tackle personal emotions. If you identify with this, take professional help and avoid romantic relationships. It will save you years of regret, guilt, and self-loathing.
10. Emotionally Damaged When You Have A Hard Time Saying Sorry
Taking responsibility for your actions cultivates trust in a relationship. If you behave like one of those snobs who have a difficult time accepting their faults, you are not currently cut out for a love relationship. Owning your mistakes and saying a simple sorry go a long way in saving relationships.
Emotionally Damaged: A Summary
You can be emotionally damaged for several reasons, and no pill can reverse your state magically. The first step toward healing yourself is being aware of the signs of emotional damage and avoiding relationships. You must consider therapy, heal yourself, and then date. It will help you experience healthy and long-lasting relationships.