Sudha Murthy, popularly known as Sudha Amma, has inspired us in many different ways. Sometimes with her powerful words, sometimes with her determination, and sometimes with her acts of kindness. Here are some of the best pieces of advice that Sudha has shared for Indian moms and dads over the years.
From being the only female student at her engineering college to helping Narayan Murthy in building Infosys to making the world better through the Infosys Foundation, she has shown that we can pursue success and kindness together.
But Sudha Amma has also inspired us through her beautiful books and her inspiring yet unheard pieces of parenting advice that we feel are a must-read for every Indian parent.
As Sudha Amma turns 69 today, here are some pieces of timeless parenting advice that she shared over time may help you in your parenthood journey like a true companion:
#1: About focusing on your children:
Sudha Murthy shared:
“Don’t focus on your children all the time. Don’t pester your child to excel at everything aka swimming, piano, elocution, cricket, art etc. Let them ponder, let them think, give them free time, let them blossom at their own pace. Lead by example, if you want them to read, switch off your TV or phone and sit down to read yourself. Kids learn much more by example than sermon.”
#2: On punishing your kids and handling arguments with kids:
As per TOI, when it was asked to Sudha Murthy:
Is “discipline and punish” an important part of parenting?
“Indeed it is but I believe it should be more disciplined than punishment.”
On being further asked about how does she handle dissent or a dispute with her kids?
She said that she explains the situation to her kids and shows how her decision is in their best interest. But in the end, she always leaves the final decision to her kids.
#3: On buying gifts for our kids
Sudha Murthy shared another beautiful piece of advice for parents, who find themselves guilty of buying everything that their kids ask for:
“Don’t buy everything your child asks for. Children lose the pleasure of having it. If they ask for books, yes definitely. But justify other purchases.”
#4: On living with kids after their marriage
When Sudha Murthy was asked, like earlier generations, if she would also like her kids to live with them after their marriage, her response shows how selflessly she has raised her kids. As per TOI, she was asked:
“Would you like them to live with you after marriage?”
And she responded: “Not at all. They should set up their homes and lead their lives. Of course, it’d be nice to visit us.”
This isn’t the first time Sudha Murthy has shared why Indian parents need to let go of their kids after marriage.
In a beautiful post, she shared how Indian parents need to see the love in detaching themselves from their kids as they start their own life.
#5: On choosing between family and career for moms
As per the sources, when she was asked about challenges faced by women and the dichotomy of choosing between family and career, she shared:
“It’s a worldwide problem that motherhood makes women both happy because she has a baby and crippled because it affects her career. People say behind every successful man, there’s a woman but I say behind every successful woman, there’s an understanding husband. I never used the ‘I’m-a-female-so-give-me-concession’ card and worked till the last day during my pregnancies.”
But she advises young women that one has to have some support – either from parents or in-laws – when a child comes into the family. She shared:
“Whatever little time you get, you should spend it on children until they are 14. After that they don’t require you.”
#6: On the vital elements of parenting
Sharing the most important element of parenting, she mentioned:
“Love and affection and teaching by example. Childre don’t need heroes outside the home; they absorb a lot of what their parents do”