Like many Indian mothers, I was a pampered child. From my food to my clothes, my mother used to make sure everything was done on time! I was so dependent on my mother. But, as soon as I entered college, I knew I have to be independent! I learned how to do everything on my own! From cooking food to managing my clothes!
But sadly, neither my mother loved it, nor the society! Many would tell my mother that why Rahul does the ‘ladkiyon wale kaam!”; why don’t you get him married! There has to be a woman in the house who will do things! Either a mother or a wife should do these things; not a man!”
So to make sure that I agree to marry, my mother started a conversation that she knew would never end the way she expected it to:
“Arey Beta, get married so that I can be carefree about all my responsibilities. I don’t have to worry if you have eaten food or not! I don’t have to worry if your clothes are washed or not; I don’t have to worry if you have woken up in time!”, my mother, like many Indian mothers, tried hard to convince me to get married!
“But Ma, for this I don’t need to get married! You should stop worrying! I can take care of myself You don’t have to worry!”
“Arrey, why I don’t have to worry! It is a mother’s responsibility to take care of her kid! And, when man grows up, a mother handover that responsibility to his wife!”
“Maa, firstly, I am no more a child who needs to be fed and taken care of! And, why my wife, who would be of my age, needs to take care of me! Neither she is a mother nor I am a child! She doesn’t have to worry about if I have eaten food or not, or I have slept on time; or if woke up on time so that I am not late for the office! I am quite independent and I don’t need a nanny! Wives are not nannies or babysitters! They are life partners who explore the world and life with you!”
“Sometimes, you embarrass me so much with your words! I don’t want your wife to be your mother but atleast she should take care of you so well that your mother doesn’t have to be worried anymore!”
“Maa, that’s what I am saying! Stop worrying! I am self-equipped and just because I am a man doesn’t mean I need a life-long caretaker in form of a wife! We both will definitely take care of each other, but you shouldn’t tell me to get married just because you are worried about my food, sleep etc….Maa, marriages have changed now! Men and women both have become more independent! They take care of each other! Gone are the days, when just women were expected to take care of men; Today’s husbands are not dependent on wives for food or household chores anymore! They cook; they wash; they clean and much more! And, wives are not dependent on husbands for money!… I know you must be finding this all complicated. But, in today’s world, it is better to have equal marriage. It is better to treat your wife as a life partner and not like your nanny or babysitter!”
After spending 30 minutes, my mother gave up! She just smiled and said: “I am so happy that I raised a man who has the strength and courage to treat women like his equal! I am so proud of you, my son!”
Dear society, wives are neither husbands’ babysitters or nannies; they are not our mothers, who need to treat us like their pampered children! Men around the globe are becoming more and more independent. We understand that our wives are not like the earlier generation of women! They are more independent, strong, and courageous. And, they deserve better men. Men who are independent and strong enough to treat them as equal partners! Because only then, we can make a perfect marriage!
