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Home Relationships Marriage & Love

Dear Son, Your Wife Is Not Your Mother! Stop Expecting Her To Do What I Did For You!

by Guest Contributor
April 2, 2021

Beta,

It is amazing how you turned into this handsome, ambitious yet sensitive young man. You have brought us endless happiness through your love and great achievements! Now, as you about to get married, you have given us another reason to celebrate life!

On this special occasion, as a mother and more importantly as a woman, I want to let you know certain things that I wish your father knew when we were getting married!

Letter-Son-On-Marriage

Dear Son, Please remember the most important woman in your life is your wife. Not your mother; not your friend; not your sister! But your wife!

The woman who is leaving behind everything deserves the utmost importance in your life. Unlike many men, please don’t shy away from showering the love she expects; showing the respect that she deserves; giving her all the attention that she needs!

Because she is your companion for life – the woman who will stand by you when the world conspires against you. The woman who will light up your world when it goes dark; the woman who will never leave your side when life throws a curveball!

Like many men, in your quest to be a good son, good brother, good friend, good employee don’t forget to be a good husband. Don’t take your wife for granted to please others!

Dear Son, Don’t Listen To The World; She IS Your World!

As you will stand by her, the world will try to shame you. They will call you ‘Joru ka ghulaam’, a ‘henpecked husband’! But don’t let those voices affect you. Those misogynist voices are the reason why so many men and women are unhappy and struggling in their marriages!

Dear Son, Your Wife Isn’t Your Mother. Don’t Expect Her To Do What Your Mother Did For You!

Like many men, don’t make a mistake to compare your wife with your mother. You may be blinded by your mother’s love so much that you may miss seeing my weaknesses. You may see me as a strong woman, who sacrificed a lot for you and the family. And, you may expect the same from your life partner. But that’s neither true nor fair.

Like any other human being, I have been selfish. I did things that made me happy. So, before even you entertain a thought of comparing your wife with your mother – remember that we all have our weaknesses. We are different individuals, having different aspirations and dreams. So, please respect her individuality and never expect her to do things as your mother did!

Dear Son, You Don’t Owe Us Anything

Never ever compromise on your marriage just because you feel you owe us. As your parent, we never expected you to be our old-age insurance. We don’t expect anything from you.

We are grown-ups. We have our careers, hobbies, and friends. We enjoy being by ourselves. We don’t want you to ignore your wife so that you can take care of us. We don’t want you to shut your eyes to your wife’s needs only because you are busy fulfilling ours. Please remember you don’t owe us anything. So, please live the life of your dreams and create a happy world for yourself.

Finally, Remember Marriage Is Not A Battlefield Of Egos

In any marriage, equality is paramount. But sadly, our regressive society will keep luring you with a regressive patriarchal mindset.

“You are the man of the house, you are the boss of the house; You deserve more respect because you are the man; Your parents and family should be given more importance than her parents; Women of the house need to cook.”

Please stop making your marriage a battlefield of egos. Because marriage can’t survive egos! So, please don’ let it destroy the DNA of any successful marriage i.e. EQUALITY.

Dear Son, as a mother I wish you loads of luck and happiness for your married life. I hope you won’t be lured by the monsters of ego, envy, hate, and anger. I am sure you would create a beautiful life with your wife and will make your parents proud, once again!

Love, Your Mom!

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