It is quite heartbreaking how women are seen as rehabilitation centers to fix men. Not just our society but our movies also believe that it’s the duty of women to fix men.
Yes, over the years, Bollywood has come up with several movies that glorify toxic behaviors in their male protagonists. Not only these movie characters are irritating, but all these movies have one thing in common – a perfect selfless girl who can ‘fix’ her man.
Dear Imtiaz Ali,
Stop telling boys that some girl will come in their life and teach them how to live it. We have our own shit to do 😴
Yours affectionately,
***agar tum smart ho***— geet. (@namkeenjalebiii) July 11, 2021
It’s so important for Bollywood to project the good girls fixing their partners and making them better men. But, seriously, is that what women are supposed to do in a relationship? Are they rehab centers for men?
There are countless Bollywood movies, where women are set out on a mission with just one goal i.e. to fix a boy. From Ashiqui 2 to Kabir Singh to Tamasha to Jab We Met to Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara to Devdas to so many more, Bollywood has this consistent plot of women fixing their partners to be better men.
It is sad how Bollywood promotes the idea of fixing men as the ultimate basis of romantic relationships.
We are not here to villainize men, we are here to talk about a bigger issue – how women are conditioned to be smitten by men who have issues—attachment, commitment, communication, and so on. And, that’s the reason why Anjali chose Rahul over Aman in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai! Or, Naina fell for toxic Bunny in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani!
With the wrecked role models, no wonder why many women are attracted to toxic relationships. Driven by intrigue and the responsibility to fix their men, they don’t realize how they are sucked into the problematic relationship. While our movies glorify toxic relationships as love, the reality is that toxic relationships demand so much energy – physical and emotional- that many women feel drained from the inside.
There is nothing romantic about fixing men; There is nothing romantic about being in a toxic relationship.
While movies paint a rosy picture of how women change men, in reality, things are very different. After putting endless effort into the relationship, you may feel they have changed. But, as soon as you stop trying, you painfully realize that they’ve fallen back to the same inconsistent pattern. It is sad to see how even putting in your best effort, you just see everything crumbling. But, sadly, that’s how toxic relationships work.
But, what is even more disappointing is the fact that many of us willingly want to do it. Like Tara (Deepika Padukone) from Tamasha, we mistook ourselves for therapists and find fixing men romantically attractive.
It is only after painful heartbreaks, we finally realize how we were indulging in a thankless and difficult task. But, by the time our self-awareness kicks in, we have already faced the brunt of being in a toxic relationship.
Dear Women, You Are Not Rehab Centres To Fix Men
Dear Women, don’t let Bollywood fail you. Nobody can fix anyone, except people themselves. Women are not the rehab centers for broken men. Be with a man, who needs a lover, not a therapist. And, for the last time, it’s not your responsibility to fix men.
