Emotional manipulators frequently employ mental tricks to gain control in a relationship. When manipulative in a relationship the final objective is to exert control over the other individual. Mutual respect, understanding, and trust are the cornerstones of any successful partnership and are required for both interpersonal and professional relationships. However, sometimes individuals for their own gain try to take advantage of the trust placed in them by the other in a relationship.
Manipulative In A Relationship
Manipulative In A Relationship
Emotional manipulation may not always be obvious. It is frequently challenging to spot, particularly when you are the one being manipulated. But, the good news is you can learn to spot it and put a stop to it. Additionally, you can learn how to safeguard your sanity and sense of self. We’ll go over typical examples of emotional manipulation, how to spot them, and what you should do after that.
Manipulative In A Relationship – Signs
1. Home Court Advantage
It can be empowering to be in the comfort zone, whether that’s their home or just a favorite coffee shop. If the other person continually insists on meeting you in their suggested comfort area, they might be attempting to establish an unbalanced power structure. They assert that they own that area, which puts you at a disadvantage. For instance: “As soon as you can, come over to my office. I’m far too busy to travel to you right now”, or “You are aware of how far away that is for me. Come over here this evening.”
2. Revealing Self
The usual getting-to-know-you could include some measures that emotional manipulators use. Their deepest insecurities and darkest secrets are “shared.” However, they’re actually attempting to make you feel unique to get you to reveal your secrets. They might subsequently turn these sensitivities against you. For instance: “We seem to be connecting on a really deep level, I think. I’ve never experienced this before” or “You are the only person to ever share a vision with me in this way. It’s destined for us to work together on this.”
3. They Let You Talk Initially
This strategy is used frequently in some professional relationships, but it can also occur in personal ones. When one person wants to take charge, they could pose probing questions to get you to express your ideas and worries right away. They can then utilize your responses to influence your decisions for their covert purpose and satisfaction. For instance: “Wow, I’ve never heard anything positive about that business. What did you think of it?” or “Well, I guess you’ll just have to tell me why you’re furious at me again.”
4. They Distort The Truth
To mislead you, emotional manipulators are experts in changing reality through lies, fabrications, or misstatements. To appear more vulnerable, they could embellish events. They could downplay their contribution to a dispute in an effort to win your sympathy. For instance: “She yelled at me after I asked a question regarding the assignment, saying that I never helped her, but you know I do” or “I sobbed all night long and didn’t get any sleep.”
5. Intimidate Intellectually
When you ask a question and someone responds by bombarding you with data, jargon, or facts, you can be the victim of emotional manipulation. Some con artists think they are the experts and force their “knowledge” on you. This is particularly typical in business or sales circumstances. For instance: “You’re new to this, so I wouldn’t anticipate that you would comprehend” or “I’ll go over this again slowly because I know this is a lot of numbers for you.”
Manipulative In A Relationship
6. Bureaucratic Bullying
Additionally, emotional manipulators may try to impede your progress by adding unnecessary paperwork, bureaucracy, procedures, or other obstacles in the workplace. This is a specific possibility if you show skepticism or pose inquiries that cast doubt on their shortcomings or weak points. For instance: “You’ll find this to be way too challenging. I’d advise you to forego the effort and stop right here” or “You will get a headache trying to understand what you have no concept about.”
7. Make Others Feel Guilty
An emotional manipulator will probably reply aggressively or try to engage you in a debate if you give suggestions or ask questions. They can sway your judgment using this tactic. They might also take advantage of the circumstance to make you feel guilty for having voiced your worries in the first place. For instance: “I don’t know why you don’t just trust me,” or “You understand, I’m simply anxious. I can’t help it; I always want to know where you are.”
8. Exaggerating Emotions
An emotional manipulator might take advantage of your terrible day to bring up their problems. To drive you to pay attention to them and direct your emotional energy to their issues is intended to invalidate what you are going through. For instance: “You deem that to be bad? You won’t have to put up with a neighbor who is constantly on the phone” or “Don’t take your brother for granted. My entire life, I have felt alone.”
9. Presenting Self As A Martyr
Someone who plays with people’s emotions could enthusiastically agree to assist with something but later back out or try to find a method to not do it. They might act as though it has become a tremendous weight, and they might try to use your emotions against you to get out of it. For instance: “I’m aware that you require this of me. Just looking at this, I feel overwhelmed” or “It’s more difficult than it seems. You may not have known that when you questioned me.”
10. Claim To Be “Just Joking.”
Criticism can be masked by comedy or sarcasm. They might claim to be speaking in humor when they’re trying to sow a seed of mistrust. For instance: “Wow, you seem worn out” or “Well, you wouldn’t become out of breath if you got up from your desk and walked around a bit.”
Manipulative In A Relationship – More Signs
11. Refuse To Accept Responsibility
Emotional manipulators never take ownership of their mistakes. However, they’ll make an effort to find a reason to blame you for everything from a quarrel to a failing endeavor. Even if they are the ones at fault, you can wind up saying sorry. For instance: “Only because I adore you so much did I do it” or “You could have completed the project properly if you hadn’t attended your child’s awards ceremony.”
12. They Always Outdo You
They look for an excuse to steal the spotlight from you while you’re happy. The opposite of this is also possible. An emotional manipulator could try to make their difficulties appear greater or more urgent after they’ve experienced a tragedy or setback. For instance: “Although your pay raise is excellent, did you notice that someone else received a full promotion?” or ”Sorry about your grandfather’s passing. At least it’s not that bad—I lost both of my grandparents in the space of two weeks.”
13. Your vulnerabilities Are Used Against You
They can hurt you if they know where your weak points are. They could say or do things to make you feel helpless and distressed. For instance: “You stated that you wouldn’t want your children to grow up in a broken household. Look at what you’re now doing to them” or “This is a challenging crowd. If I were you, I’d be anxious.”
14. Exploiting Emotions To Hurt Others
When you’re sad, someone trying to manipulate you could make you feel bad about how you’re feeling. They can say you’re being unreasonable or aren’t investing enough. For instance: “If you truly loved me, you wouldn’t doubt me” or “If you had accepted the position, you would be rich by now.”
Manipulative In A Relationship – What To Do?
Realizing someone is trying to control your emotions may take some time. The warning indicators are subtle and can change over time. However, believe your gut and after expressing regret for your role, proceed. You probably won’t receive an apology, but you also don’t need to dwell on it. Own up to what you did, and leave the other charges alone. Don’t attempt to defeat them. This game shouldn’t be played by two people. Instead, acquire the ability to identify the techniques so that you may adequately plan your reactions.
Establish limits. A manipulative person’s strategies could become more frantic when they sense they are losing control. You need to make some difficult decisions right now.
Consider removing that individual from your life totally if you do not need to be near them. You’ll need to develop management skills if you share tight quarters with them or if you work closely with them. To get advice on how to handle the circumstance, you might find it useful to speak with a therapist or counselor. To assist you to recognize the behavior and enforcing boundaries, you might also enlist the aid of a dependable friend or family member.