Christmas Jokes: Do you want your Christmas party to come alive with some hilarious Christmas-related jokes? Read on for a list of funny and witty Christmas-themed jokes!
Christmas is all about being merry and having fun. And Christmas jokes cause laughter, adding further charm to an already festive and boisterous atmosphere. So to shut down your stress response and bring cheer we bring to you a list of jokes about Christmas that are perfect for family and friend gatherings.
Christmas Jokes
Best Christmas Jokes
Here is a list of best Christmas jokes to keep you entertained and make you laugh this festival!
1. How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance?
“Present!”
2. What’s red and white and falls down chimneys?
“Santa Klutz!”
3. How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm?
“His Raindeer.”
4. What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip?
“Crisp Pringles!”
5. What is Santa’s primary language?
“North Polish.”
6. What did the English teacher call Santa’s helpers?
“Subordinate Clauses.”
7. Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill?
“Jack Frost.”
8. Why does Santa go down the chimney?
“Because it soots him!”
9. What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy?
“Jolly ranchers.”
10. How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas?
“They use Santa-tizer.”
11. What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense?
“Wait, there’s myrrh.”
12. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
“Frostbite.”
13. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
“Claus-trophobia!”
14. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause.
15. What do snowmen eat for dessert?
Ice Crispies.
16. How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out?
They spruce up
17. What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape?
A treeangle
18. What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
Orna-mints.
19. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Because the present’s beneath them.
20. What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree?
Christmas chopping!
Funny Christmas Jokes
21. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
They have too many needles.
22. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-it is.
23. Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer?
Spruce Springsteen.
24. What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree?
Nice gnawing you!
25. What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?
A pineapple!
26. What did one Christmas tree say to another?
Lighten up!
27. What month does a Christmas tree hate the most?
Sep-timber!
28. How do you know Santa is good at karate?
He has a black belt.
29. Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Elfis.
30. What was Santa’s favorite subject in school?
Chemis-tree
31. Who delivers presents to the baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
32. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas quacker.
33. What did Santa say when he stepped in a puddle?
It looks like it reindeer
34. What’s Santa’s favorite type of potato chip?
Kringles!
35. What do you call a broke Santa?
Saint Nickel-less
36. Where would you find a snowman dancing?
At a snowball
37. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping
38. What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band?
The Who!
39. What do golfers get in their stockings?
Silly putty
40. Why wouldn’t Ebenezer Scrooge eat at the pasta restaurant?
It cost a pretty penne!
More Hilariously Funny Jokes
41. How is Drake like an elf?
He spends all his time wrapping!
42. Which one of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?
Dancer!
43. How long are an elf’s legs?
Just long enough to reach the ground!
44. What’s red, white, and green?
Santa Claus when he’s travel sick
45. What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas?
‘Tis the season to be jelly
46. What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper
47. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve
48. What song do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow
49. What’s worse than a reindeer with a runny nose?
A snowman with a fever
50. Why doesn’t Santa eat junk food?
Because it’s bad for your elf
51. What was Santa’s favorite subject in school?
Geome-tree
52. What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson
53. How much did Santa’s sleigh cost?
It was on the house
54. What says “Oh, Oh, Oh” and wears a big red suit?
Santa walking backward
55. Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas?
He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone
56. What’s Tarzan’s favorite Christmas song?
Jungle bells
57. What type of key do you need to put on a Nativity play?
A don-key
58. Why was the advent calendar afraid?
Its days were numbered
59. Where do mistletoe go to become famous?
Holly-wood.
60. What do you get when you cross a pig and Christmas tree lights?
A piglet!
Laugh Out Loud Jokes
61. Did you hear about the brand-new Christmas newspaper?
It’s “The Herald-Angels Sing.”
62. What do sheep say at Christmas?
Merry Christmas to ewe.
63. What do you call a Christmas rom-com about bread?
Loaf Actually.
64. What is a lamb’s favorite Christmas carol?
Have Yourself a Mary Little Christmas.
65. What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes “ribbet ribbet?”
A mistle-toad
66. What’s the best present to receive?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.
67. How does a sheep greet you for Christmas?
Fleece Navidad.
68. How does Christmas Day end?
With the letter “Y.”
69. Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb?
Because it would say, “Baaa humbug!”
70. What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.
71. How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed.
72. What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas song?
Bark, the Herald Angels Sing.
73. What carol is heard in the desert?
O camel ye faithful.
74. What do fish sing at Christmas time?
Christmas Corals!
75. How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born?
They had a weigh with a manger.
76. What’s an elf’s favorite sport?
Miniature golf.
77. What was the elf allergic to?
Sh-Elf-ish.
78. Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
So he could sleep like a log
79. If there were 11 elves and another joined them, what would he be?
The twelf.
80. What did the elf get when he crossed a bell with a skunk?
Jingle smells.
Read On For More Christmas Jokes
81. What kind of car does an elf drive?
A toy-ota.
82. How did the elf give her final project at school?
With a present-ation.
83. What song did the elf’s teammates sing as he rounded third base in the annual holiday baseball game?
Please Come Home for Christmas.
84. What did the elf on the shelf dress up as for Halloween?
Prankenstein
85. What do elves use while cooking in the kitchen?
Utinsels.
86. What kind of money do reindeer use?
Bucks!
87. What do reindeer use to communicate?
The antlernet
88. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments.
89. What do you call a reindeer on Halloween?
A cariBOO
90. What do you call a snowman who vacations in the tropics?
A puddle
91. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose
92. What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps
93. What happened when the snow girl broke up with the snow boy?
She gave him the cold shoulder
94. How does a snowman lose weight?
He waits for the weather to get warmer
95. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman
96. Why did the snowman turn yellow?
Ask the little boy over there
97. How is Christmas exactly like your job?
You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
98. Why does Drake love giving gifts?
He’s really good at wrapping
99. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet
100. Why is everyone so thirsty at the North Pole?
No well, no(el).
Jokes That Crack You Up
101. Where would you find a Christmas tree?
Between a Christmas two and a Christmas four.
102. What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
Fleece Navidad
103. What’s the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.
104. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has No-el.
105. What are the three stages of man?
He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.
106. What do you call a laptop growing on your Christmas tree?
A pineapple
107. Why did only the letter “E” get a Christmas present?
The other letters were not E
108. What do you call a search engine that sings Christmas songs?
Michel Google
109. What’s it called when you go out to buy a piano this holiday?
Christmas Chopin
110. Why are Christmas trees better than men?
Even the small ones give satisfaction
111. Why are you Christmas?
‘Cause I wanna merry you.
112. Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
He was searching for some holiday spirit.
113. Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
Because he knows better than to try the back door.
114. Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
To keep her off the North Pole
115. Why do reindeers like Beyoncé so much?
She sleighs.
116. How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed.
117. What is elf’s favorite decor?
Orna-Mintel
118. Why Christmas always comes in winter?
Because Jesus was born coool
119. Is there a man made of snow that makes everyone smile?
It’s Snow Man
120. How does Santa take photos?
With a Pole-aroid Camera, Of course
Smart Christmas Jokes
121. How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles sparkling?
He uses comet
122. What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
A stick.
123. Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks
124. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis!
125. What do they sing on Santa’s birthday?
“Freeze a jolly good fellow…”
126. What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker
127. What happens to elves when they are naughty?
Santa gives them the sack!
128. Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had nobody to go with
129. What do frogs wear on their feet?
Open toad sandals
130. What happened to the man that stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days.
131. What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet
132. Who is Rudolph’s favourite pop star?
Beyon-sleigh!
133. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
134. Who delivers presents to pets?
Santa Paws!
135. Where does Santa go when he’s sick?
The elf centre
136. What do you call a reindeer who can’t see?
No-eye deer
137. What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch?
Picking his nose!
138. What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?
A twerky.
139. Did Rudolph go to school?
Nope! He was elf-taught.
140. How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle.
More Witty & Fun Jokes
141. What’s a parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
Silent Night!
142. What do you call Santa if he also lives at the South Pole?
Bi-Polar.
143. Why was the snowman smiling?
He could see the snow blower coming down the street.
144. What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney?
“Chest and nuts roasting on an open fire.
145. Why is Santa so damn jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
146. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Because the present’s beneath them.
147. What do all the female reindeer do when Santa takes the males out to guide his sleigh?
They go into town and blow more than a few bucks.
148. Why did the snowman want a divorce?
Because his wife was a total flake.
149. What does snowman take when he’s sick?
A chill pill.
150. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed to be trimmed.
151. What kind of a bug hates Christmas?
A Humbug
152. What do the road crews use at the North Pole?
Snow Cones
153. Where does Snowman keep his money?
In a Snow bank
154. What does Santa use to measure?
Santa meters
155. Where does the snowman go for dancing?
At the very famous Snow ball.
156. What should you give to your parents at Christmas?
A list of what you want.
157. Why does Santa have 3 Gardens?
So, he can hoe, hoe, hoe.
158. Which of Santa Rein-deer has bad manners?
Rude-olph
159. What do you get when Santa goes down a chimney with a fire?
Crisp Cringles
Christmas Jokes To Lighten Up
160. What does snowman eat for lunch?
An Iceberg
161. How does Rudolph know Christmas is coming?
He looks at his Calen-Deer.
162. What did one snowman say to another snowman?
Can you smell Carrots?
163. What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?
The letter D.
164. What do you call an old snowman?
Ice Water.
165. How does a snowman lose weight?
He waits for the weather to get warmer.
166. What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
Snow
167. What goes “now you see me, now you don’t”?
A snowman on the zebra crossing.
168. What’s white and goes up?
A confused snowflake.
169. What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells, Jungle bells. Jungle all the way.
170. What do you call Santa at the beach?
Sandy Claus!
171. What did one angel say to another?
Halo There!
172. Which elf is the best singer?
Elf-is Presley
173. Where do polar bears vote?
The North Pole.
Adult Christmas Jokes
174. What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?
Santa was smart enough to stop at three hos.
175. Why did the Grinch rob the liquor store?
He desperately needed some holiday spirit.
176. What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs.
177. Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?
He only comes once a year.
178. What’s Santa’s safe sex tip?
Wrap your package before shoving it down the chimney.
179. What’s the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning?
When he gets a sweater, but he’s hoping for a screamer or a moaner.
180. Why does Santa land on the roof?
Because he likes it on top.
181. If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, do you mind if I visit between the holidays?
182. What’s the difference between a Christmas tree and a man?
A Christmas tree will stay up for 12 nights, has cute balls and looks good with the lights on.
A Few Christmas Jokes
183. What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
184. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
They’re into all the wrapping.
185. How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit?
Nurse them back to elf.
186. Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey because he’s always stuffed!
187. How do you scare a snowman?
Grab a hairdryer!
188. Why does Santa have elves in his workshop?
Because the Seven Dwarfs were busy!
189. What do three ho’s get you?
One very jolly Santa.
190. What do you call an elf who just won the lottery?
Welfy.
191. What kind of music do elves like the best?
W’rap’ Music
192. What’s a female elf called?
A she elf.
193. What’s Santa’s business status?
Elf-Employed.
194. Where do snowmen put their web pages?
On the winternet.
195. Why did Grinch hate Christmas?
Because he thought no one liked him.
196. Who’s so famous on Christmas?
It’s Jesus. Duh
197. What does Santa spend his wages on?
Jingle Bills.
198. If Santa was in Vogue magazine, which issue would that be?
Christmas
199. What is Santa’s favorite snack?
Santa Pringles.
200. What should you give to your parents at Christmas?
A list of what you want.
Have a great Christmas! And, don’t forget to explore our fun section on Christmas celebrations. From Christmas greetings to Christmas party games to wishes to funny Christmas movies, you will find everything that you can do during the Christmas holidays! In case you would like to explore more jokes, here is our collection of best jokes including dark jokes to knock knock jokes to intelligent and short jokes.